Side Piece Day

I see that Side Piece Day is being highly publicized. OH what ratchet-ness this brings. It’s not okay to be a side piece but whatever floats your boat. This has become a full-time profession and holiday.

Well I’m not trying to throw salt on anyone’s parade but if your going to be a side-piece you might as well have the proper training and rules. It’s not what you do its how.

The HOE Coach aka Passport Cutty

Hosted by Hot 97 for Side Pieces ALL OVER THE GLOBE !

Side Piece Rules

1. Know what you’re in it for.

2. Shut him/her down if he ever brings him/her up.

3. Don’t worry about her/him.

4. No drama.

5. Don’t get pregnant/ don’t get her pregnant.

6. Don’t tell your friends.

7. Don’t be the pot calling the kettle black.

8. Never be a side for a bum.

9. Don’t believe what he/she says.

10. Protect your health.

11. No blackmail.

Check out Hot 97’s Side Piece Blog Post

There are Side Chick Contracts available for free, but remember to interview your Side Piece first. Here are some Side Chick Contracts that I found online that may be of some use to you.

Side Chick Contract 1

SIDE CHICK CONTRACT
I_______________________, promise to keep my mouth shut about your business at all times. I hereby state that I will have dinner ready on the preferred specified nights upon your arrival. You____________________, will contribute to the light gas and water bill as well as food contributions monthly in the amounts of but no higher than ($250-500) monthly in order to keep me in line and to make sure you can wash your ass after you have your way with me. I________________________, promise to never speak to nor look at your wife/girlfriend/child’s mother and in turn, You________________, will make every effort to make sure we DO NOT end up in the same location. I will be available to you 3 nights a week and I will specify 48 hours in advance if plans should change. You__________________, will not lie and make me feel as if I am more than just a side chick and I will not introduce you to anyone relevant in an attempt to feel more relevant. As your side chick, I also understand the hours that are permissible to call your phone and/or text. You are able to text and/or call at your leisure. You are not allowed to act jealous; this violates the clause to not make me feel relevant. In the event that your “other half” contacts me, I am to act as if I am a girlfriend of a good friend of yours and you will follow up with that friend to play along as needed. I will listen to your problems and keep mine to myself because you don’t care. Lastly, You___________________, will buy me a gift for Valentine’s Day, Christmas and Mother’s Day but I will accept them 24 to 48 hrs after the actual holiday, I_____________________, will in turn do the things your girlfriend WILL NOT times 10 during those holidays.
Side Chick_______________________________________ Date_______________ Cheater_________________________________________ Date_______________

Side Chick Contract 2

•No sleeping over.
•No meeting in public.
•No calls after 21h30, Only I can call at any hour!
•None of that lovemaking nonsense, only sex allowed.
•No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading
with this? Do you love me?).
•No plans made in advance, that is why you are called
a “Backup”.
•Money is always good.
•No baby talk, however dirty talk is encouraged.
•No asking for comparison with former lovers… it’s
really none of your damn business.
•No calling each other “friends with privileges” we are
not friends, just sex buddies.
•Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK, don’t be
offended.
•No extra clothing, I don’t want
your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
•No falling asleep right after sex, it’s
OVER. So get your ass up and go home.
•Don’t be offended if I don’t ask if you
enjoyed it – I DON’T CARE!!
•You cannot borrow my car keys for any reason.
•If anyone asks who you are, the standard
response will be “My room mate’s girlfriend”
•Doggie Style is the preferred position, the reason is
LESS EYE CONTACT!
•NO CONDOMS, No ACTION!
•Bring 8 own drinks, I’m not your LIQUOR store.
•No smoking cigarette before sex or after sex.
•No phone use, PLEASE.
•No telling people we are LOVERS, it
reduces my chances of replacing you.
SIGNED AT_________________________
DATED _________________________
INITIALS & SURNAME_____________

10. Thou shall not be faithful

If your a Side Piece why in the F**k are you being faithful, he’s a cheater and your his fill in. Have your own damn life for crisis sake!

9. Thou shall stand by the cheaters side

Sometimes a little emotion is ok, as long as you know what it is then you can still be a friend to the cheater, your job is to provide what’s not giving at home. Stand by him while he works things out but never put him before YOU!

8. Thou shall never take nor keep any video or images together

I know sometimes you would love to be able to have evidence to keep your name clean but there’s no need if you know what you got yourself into in the beginning right ? GOOD GIRL! It’s no good it’ll only make you look bad because you settled and applied for side chick position. Inappropriate behavior is not ok. Act like a lady tramp at ALL times, but think like a man.

7. Thou shall never use the L-word

Never EVER EVER EVER use the L word, showing strong emotion as such shows vulnerability and dumb b***h status. Always remain strong weakness will get you killed, played, and looked over. You aren’t suppose to really have heart.

6.Thou shall not meet parents

I don’t have to go deep into this one, you know why you aren’t suppose to ! This is Main Chick privileges ONLY ! Don’t mix with his family, for what ? Your not permanent NOBODY really needs to know who you are.

5. Thou shall remember thou place at ALL times

There are no excuses on why you shouldn’t this is first put in place before you are established, if not then you need to not be his side chick, b***h resign !

4. Thou shall never believe Cheater

We don’t love these whores is a common saying but it’s true for most situations, some cheaters do fall in love with the Side Chick but you should never fall in love return back to commandment 7 for more details, PLEASE ! you shouldn’t believe him because his life is a lie and his name is cheater. Don’t even believe any stories he tells you about his other life cause its only to make you feel sorry for him and give him extras, you’ll lose value giving into that.

3. Thou shall not steal, kill, or stalk

Why would you risk your freedom and life for a cheater ? He came to you as a cheater just to use you for your services. Do not steal from him makes you look broke, dirty, and you will not receive your benefits. You will lose value and if you have to steal b***h you need a part-time job, I’m sorry. Do not stalk him he has enough problems at home and you will lose business, he’ll tell others & this will for surely damage your clients. I’m not going to even explain why not to kill him because he’s just simply not worth the time, move on if you get psycho good penis will do this sometimes. It happens to the best of us.

2. Thou shall not be the side piece of a bum

Don’t do it! Your already a side piece/whore why in the hell would you pick up a charity case ? The purpose of being a side chick is to get paid, vacations, and other benefits. Have a plan and make sure the situation benefits you at ALL times. If he gets you wet he needs to drop a check.

1. Thou shall not covet to be in main chick position, to see her, or tell her anything

This goes back to commandment 2- 10, if you follow these commandment 1 should never happen. Why would you want to be in her shoe anyway ? She’s getting cheated on just find your own man it’s easier than building on something that was never real, spare yourself. If you shall come in contact and main chick knows anything you lie, your not even a friend, hell you don’t even know him that well. Bottom-line never ever tell her anything. She is not important keep your eyes on the prize seeing her, knowing about her, wanting to be her makes your job hard. Boss up B***h and lose those feelings

HAPPY Valentines Day and Side Piece Thursday to all !

Here’s some inspiration !

Lil Webbie- Gutta Bitch